How to name your grapefruit in 9 months or less!

My gal is now 16 weeks with child. This means, according to Glade B. Curtis, M.D. that our child to be is the size of a grapefruit. We need to name this grapefruit.

Step 1. Google 'Grapefruit' to find out what the hell one looks like.

G is for Grapefruit. C'mon you shoulda known that! Do I have to explain every little thing?

Warning: Halving real children may stunt growth

Step 2. Acquire a surrogate grape fruit.

The proud papa showing off Jr.

On my arrival back home from the store I realized that because we don't know the sex of the grapefruit, I actually need two surrogates. Back to the store.

Step 3. Draw a penis on one grapefruit and a vagina on the other one.

Not wanting to draw a penis or having the knowledge of how to draw a vagina, these sexes will be represented by the letters P and V respectively.

Step 4. Place grapefruit at far end of living area. Rooms with laminate or hardwood floor are

preferable.

Step 5. Begin shouting random names at the grapefruit. Note any movement on the part of the grapefruit and the corresponding names that triggered it.

Mavid did quite well

Fun Tip: Invite friends over to bet on the which name the grapefruit will choose!

Lost his shirt betting on Tyeesha, luckily he had another one on underneath (starring Bryce Epp as Brice Erpp)

Step 6. Snack time! Eat the vagina grapefruit because you know its gonna be a boy anyway.

Lovin the V!

Step 7. Write what ever name you want on the grapefruit and tell

your girlfriend that it was what the grapefruit chose.

Named after my great grandfather and someone called Diego.