Wow, sorry everyone (Greg), guess its been about 10 days since the last installment of Super Noise Time....
So I left the clinic in search of a bank machine with a deuce still chambered jus within my hoop. Found the bank machine pretty easily (nearby gas station) and was back at the clinic within the allotted "jiff" that I had promised the girl friend. She was still waiting for her turn to be examined, so I took a seat next to her. For the next few minutes I pretended to focus on an article about uterus' (or is it uteri? Utereese?) that I had found in some vagina related publication, but really all I was trying to do was keep a vigilant anus (anoos? Anise?)
Then my beloved's name was called, meaning I would have to some how stand up, thus adjusting the position of my guts, and not poop. Success! I was up and not a particle had escaped! I was elated, which my lover surely interpretted as: Dave is really happy he is about to see a grainy picture of his unborn child (which I was, just not as happy as I was about not releasing my bowels) Then the nurse said this: Oh, the father has to wait, we have a few things we need to look for first, then he can come in. Well, luckily I took grade 9 drama, cuz inside I was jumping up and down, pictures of the washroom key dancing in my brain, but outside I was "acting" like I was disapointed.
So, sitting on the pot, all I could think about was how everything was beginning to work itself out (that is not a pun)(wait, actually, I think it might be). Sure, my darling hadnt publicly peed herself, but here I was enjoying a good movement, soon to see my future kid, hear its heartbeat and find out if there was or was not a penis. And yes, I did soon find myself looking down at a grainy black and white tv screen starring my son/daughter. And yes, I also heard its healthy beating heart (awesome). But, alas, that day would not be the day I saw a penis, or a vagina for that matter. Bastards said they couldnt tell us til week 21, and we were only at week 19. Shitty!
We did get a copy of the ultrasound, which I pulled from its envelope, examined it at the front desk and asked the question: "So which blotch is the penis?" Mark my words, friends, I will not rest until the day I know that answer. Goodnight! (Im pooped)
